The Crystal Maze Live Experience – Review

If you’re like me, crippling anxiety would have stopped you from playing the real life televised Crystal Maze in the 90s. But you can’t deny that we all REALLY wanted a go.

Fortunately for us, there’s a place in Manchester that provides the experience without the peril of making yourself look like a dick in front of a TV audience.

richard o brien*Harmonica sounds*

The Crystal Maze Live Experience is exactly what it says on the tin: from the theme music following you as you sprint (literally) between the four zones to the iconic “WILL YOU START THE FANS PLEASE” Crystal Dome moment. I won’t spoil anything, but there’s several classic games from the TV show, a video cameo from Richard O’ Brien and a big slide.

A BIG SLIDE. What’s not to love, I ask you.

Biggest non-surprise of the day: for all the time we spent screaming at the TV while watching competitors struggle with seemingly arbitrary tasks, it’s a lot harder than it looks in real life. Particularly when you’ve got a timer running and seven of your friends shouting instructions at you.

Level 14 judgeWe did OK though. Team Level 14 Judge!

My one disappointment was that you’re not guaranteed a commemorative crystal. There’s a Wheel of Fortune style game that gives you a chance to win a free one if you fill in a feedback form (I failed). If you’re feeling particularly flush, you can buy one from the shop on the way out, along with t shirts, jackets and other assorted merch.

At £41 it has a reasonably steep entry fee, but you can live with that and are in Manchester with a bunch of pals, The Crystal Maze Live Experience is ridiculously good fun. Shout out to “Santa”, our hilarious guide for the experience, who I’m pretty sure has never met a bunch of people more chaotic and injury prone than us.

Speaking of which – my one tip is “watch the doors”. They’re quite low and one of my friends took the skin off his head, which resulted in him having a big dorky plaster on for the group photo at the end. Nice one Dan.

crystal mazeVictory!

Top Ten Tuesday: Books for when I’m sick of reading.

Nobody’s ever sick of reading, really, but the term “reading slump” makes my teeth grind involuntarily so…

Anyway, as I’ve spent god knows how many weeks now reading nothing but fanfiction, this seems appropriate. If you’re also a victim of this particular pit, my sympathies.

Since I’m rusty I’ve only done five books that I can pick up to get back into the game. I suggest reading it twice.

Knots and Crosses – Ian Rankin

knots and crosses

I can’t remember the last time I became so heavily invested in a series and a character. The only thing stopping me from reading this again right now is that there’s a whole series of them I haven’t read.

It definitely helps that the books are set in Edinburgh. As someone who works in the city I love trundling past places I’ve read about

Six of Crows – Leigh Bardugo

six of crows

This is the most deliciously dark and all-consuming and evocative story I’ve read for a long time. Leigh Bardugo has created such a grubby yet gorgeous universe and set of characters.

The Disaster Artist 

the disaster artist

I’ve read this account of the filming of cult movie sensation The Room several times, and it’s still one of the few books that makes me actually wheeze with laughter. Knowledge of the movie isn’t necessary but strongly recommended.

Additionally, if you haven’t seen The Room, I’d thoroughly recommend gathering some of your closest friends and watching it. It’s the only time in my adult life I’ve come close to peeing myself.

Speak – Laurie Halse Anderson

Speak

Laurie Halse Anderson is my ride or die. She’s my idol. Speak is a book that not only shuts me up for at least a day, but it also reinforces my belief that YA is the most vital of all genres.

The Pellinor Series – Alison Croggon

the singing

Everyone’s heard me screaming about this series by now, but I love it so much and it’s my go-to when I really can’t be arsed reading anything else. I always have time for Maerad and Cadvan.

On the Road – Jack Kerouac

on the road

Jack Kerouac typed the manuscript for On the Road on a single, continuous piece of paper. In three weeks. Goals.

Because of this, the language feels like it’s dropped straight out of Kerouac’s brain into the pages, and it’s so authentic and glorious that every time I read it I feel completely alive with how great writing can be. Hugely pretentious sounding, but true.

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What other books are good for when I hit the wall? GO.

Books I Need to Read: Part One

I’ve been off the grid for a while, doing stuff. To get back into the swing of things, I’ve been thinking about what books I’m probably going to need in my life in one form or another. Some are new releases, some are old ones I haven’t gotten round to.

This was originally one blog post and then while I was uploading the images I thought of LOADS more so look forward to my bank account sobbing in a part two at some point.

Every Rebus book I haven’t read yet

knots and crosses
Not this one. I’ve read this one. It was excellent.

Even though I’m enjoying other stuff at the moment, I miss Rebus. I love his Edinburgh, and his take-no-shit attitude, and trying to work out whodunnit.

Ian Rankin has ruined other books for me though. All I want to do is read Rebus. And watch the TV versions. Help.

The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon

priory of the orange tree

Fantasy? Yes. Magic? Yesss. Dragons? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Children of Blood and Bone – Tomi Adeyemi

blood and bone

This is a funny one. I like the sound of it, but I’ve been burned so often by super hyped books that I almost…don’t want to read it. But I do. And I will. But I don’t.

If you see what I mean.

The Amber Spyglass – Philip Pullman

amber spyglass

My mum bought me the full set of the HDM 20th anniversary editions at the Edinburgh Book Festival because I was salivating over it. I’ve just finished with her slightly battered copy of The Subtle Knife, so when I’m emotionally stable again (two words: Alamo Gulch) I’ll crack on with the last in the trilogy.

Fault Lines – Doug Johnstone

fault lines

I asked for book suggestions on Twitter and picked one at random, which is how I was introduced to this book. I hadn’t heard of Doug Johnstone or Fault Lines, but it’s set in Edinburgh (score), albeit a reimagined contemporary Edinburgh (score) and it’s got a murder in it (score). All my boxes are ticked.

Are We All Lemmings and Snowflakes? – Holly Black

lemmings and snowflakes

I’m saving this one for last because I haven’t read any Holly Black before and if I mention that too early I risk shame.

I’ve been meaning to get to the Spinster Club, but in the meantime this book sounds awesome and I have high expectations.

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What else should I be reading? What’s on your TBR? How much trouble am I in for going back to the book festival tomorrow? (Lots, probably.)