I’m slowly rediscovering a love for sunsets at dinner time and central heating all day every day after years of being ravaged by winter depression. But from a brief peruse of social media is looks like everyone else is WAY ahead of me. When did everyone begin to loathe summer and love autumn? Is this part of growing up, or is it a new phenomenon?
There’s plenty to be excited about in autumn, but there’s also plenty of hype that leaves me scratching my head and wondering if everyone else has moved to some higher plane and left me behind. Inspired by a conversation I had on Twitter, here’s all the things about Autumn that are SO OVERRATED.
Seriously, when did Halloween become A Big Deal? Halloween when I was little was a homemade cat costume, leotard, black tights and faux fur tails sewn on the back. I looked like I was starring in an amateur production of Cats and I loved it. Now it seems to be just as big as Christmas. There are entire supermarket aisles full of decorations. If you had Halloween decorations when I was wee you were That Rich House in the street. I don’t get the hype. Why is Halloween good?
The benefits of living right at the top of a hill with no kids in the immediate area is that I don’t have to draw the curtains, turn all the lights off and sit in the dark to pretend I’m not in, which is what we did every year before I moved out. The downside is that I no longer live with my mum, who would buy bags of sweets “just in case” and then we’d actively avoid luring anyone to the front door. Good times.
Pumpkin Spiced Lattes
Let’s get real: these things are not good. I get that they’re the unofficial Harbinger of Autumn, but why? They’re disgusting. It’s like drinking a Yankee Candle. I’ve tried one exactly once to see what all the fuss was about and gave it away after one mouthful. This was a much bigger paragraph when I first drafted this post, until I realised it was eight different ways of saying “they are vile”.
Seriously though, all the cool things about this season and we as a people have made this horrendous drink the biggest phenomenon?
Christmas things in the shops from September onwards
I swear this is happening earlier each year. August is barely over before you start catching strains of Cliff Richard while you’re standing in the cheese aisle in Tesco. I fastidiously try to avoid anything festive before at least November, but it’s the middle of August and the Christmas chocolate boxes are out. The adverts will be on TV soon. HELP.
I like Christmas as much as the next person but how fatigued do you end up feeling by December when it’s rammed down your throat every time you do literally anything?
You might get to this stage and think “What a miserable cow”. In order to correct this assumption, and since I mentioned at the start that I liked autumn, I figure I should probably name some things I actually do enjoy about this time of year.
Toffee Nut Lattes
I’m sorry, this is the real deal as far as seasonal drinks go. This blows Pumpkin Spiced Burn Time 30hrs away. I genuinely can’t go past a Starbucks when they’re in without having one of these. The moment the first taste passes my lips I sprout a woolly hat, scarves, gloves and the world’s thickest jumper spontaneously like some sort of stop motion animation. Even thinking about it is making me want one. When do they come out again?
I’ve already spoken in my Florida hype post about how I’m spending my 26th birthday. Generally though, as much as I’m generally ambivalent about birthdays (hello late 20s, it’s a bummer), 23rd September is the point at which it Becomes Autumn and isn’t just Late Summer. All bets are off now. Jumpers are worn regularly. You’re allowed to say the C word out loud instead of just thinking it like a dirty little secret. I learn how to work the thermostat in my house again. Everything is right with the world.
I like weather. Doesn’t matter if it’s blazing sunshine and blue skies, massive snowstorm, wind that could blow you over (actually happened to me outside work earlier this year) or torrential sheet rain, as long as I’m indoors (or outdoors if it’s nice).The only kind of weather I really can’t be doing with is your bog standard grey skies and nothing else is going on, which unfortunately is the prevalent weather condition in Scotland.
Generally autumn means it’s time for ridiculous poor weather, and there is NOTHING better than whacking on a dressing gown, lighting enough candles to do Molly Ringwald for the rest of her life and writing something while the rain goes sideways against the window.
Top tip: Heartland by Runrig is the best album to listen to on cold dark winter nights. Trust me.
We had a pretty reasonable summer in Scotland this year (take note, people, because those words don’t appear next to each other in a sentence very often) so it’s a little sad to be winding down into September, but I won’t deny that I am ITCHING to put a jumper on. It’s too muggy right now for that to be a viable clothing choice, but give it time…
Afternoon sunset from the office window.